we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
