she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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