I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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