I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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