just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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