I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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