She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize