I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
