I heard we made out
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
