i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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