We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
