hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
