i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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