i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
