is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
