holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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