if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Small penises have feelings too.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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