i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
