I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
