pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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