omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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