I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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