You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
