You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
