Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
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Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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