That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
