You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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