A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
