Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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