So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
