I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
