I feel great
I just peed on a car
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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