just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
