we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
