Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
