I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize