could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
