RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
