Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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