Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
