Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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