it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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