Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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