So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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