these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
