she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
