I cockslap morals
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
