Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
