dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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