That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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