dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
