I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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