You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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