i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize