so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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