just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
