im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
