I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
