What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
