The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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