I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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