I cockslap morals
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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