If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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